Well, shit. I'm back on Shit Planet, as I call Earth. I called it that in my official reports back home. They told me to stop. I said no. They said, "You will do as you're told."
"Like shit I will," I said.
"Stop saying 'shit'."
"No way. That's the only good thing I got from that planet. That word. And I stole some underwear off a guy while he was wearing them. Didn't take his pants off. But that was more about the experience than actually getting the underwear. Let me elaborate."
"Well you're going back," they interrupted sharply. I was just about to elaborate.
"Like shitting shit I am. Shit hell shit no."
"Now you're just doing it because you can."
"So shit what?"
They didn't like my attitude. I called them assholes, they got hurt, said that I'd only proved their point, and then I agreed that I could see what they were saying and promised not to ever call them assholes again. They were right. I was out of line.
Anyway, the assholes on my home planet saw the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still and were like, "Hey, Ron, that movie's got a point. Go do that." That's when I started calling them assholes again. It only took about 5 seconds. And to be fair, I had to burp, otherwise I would've done it sooner.
So here I am.
Then they all agreed that it was nowhere near as good as the original and poorly acted - the remake, that is. Then, when I chimed in that no studio today would respect the intelligence of the audience enough to make something with the depth of the original, they really laid into me. I'm back on Shit Planet for a 5 year stint. I don't know what that equals in your Earth years. 5, I think. Here's my thing: What do they want to defend the studios for? It's the studio's fault the movie sucked!
Question - how the shit am I supposed to build a goddamned indestructible robot?