Human Brain Coping Mechanisms

So with getting beat up, I thought I was going through the 7 stages of grief, which I thought went something like this:

1. Anger
2. Bargaining
3. Depression
4. Happiness
5. Being really happy
6. Being happier than you were before
7. Profound epiphany, leading to profound happiness

Boy was I wrong. First of all, they're totally different. It's denial, pain, anger & bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction, and acceptance. This according to www.recover-from-grief.com. I would've liked to see a lot more upward turns. At least 6 more.

But I don't think I'm going through those either. I can't believe these humans don't have a template! There's got to be a norm! There's no way human experiences are so diverse that they haven't figured out exactly what to do about each one. They probably gave up after the first failed attempt. "Oops, I messed up dealing with death. Let's just assume we don't know how to deal with anything ever again." Idiots. My actual guess is that they were too stupid to figure it out in the first place. It's probably that.

For creatures with such strong emotions, they sure don't know what to do with them. They just turn them into more emotion. The Blip Gorps of planet Aurchirchuz would've constructed a mighty crystal fortress out of them by now. That's like turning thought into more thought. Where's the action? It all gets bottled up inside your head and then spews out as one horrible brain vomit. Here they call them books on philosophy. Did I mention they still have philosophy here?!! When will they ever learn?!

If my worst fears are correct, as they tend to be, what humans do is just stumble around until they die. Maybe that is the template. Maybe they've all decided that's best for them. I don't know. Maybe I should ask one.