Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Every story should have a moral, a lesson, so: Once there was a little boy who had to learn a lesson, so he got himself involved in a fable.

"But I don't want to learn a lesson," the little boy said.

"Too bad," said the author, "Fable time."

So the boy did a slightly immoral thing, and then was horribly over-punished with what's known as "Germanic Death" - a witch eating him, or a wolf eating him, or a witch burning him alive in an oven and feeding him to a wolf, or troll. I think the thing he did was get lured into a house made of gingerbread cookies and candy like anyone would.

Who wouldn't? It sounds delicious! Well, I would've started outside by eating the candy vinyl siding or what-have-you, maybe the gumdrop gutter... I bet there was probably a garden that sprouted flowers that were really candy. You better believe I'd eat those. Mmm... MmmMmmmMmmmmm... Jmmmmmmmmm... Mmmmmmmmmm... Mmm.... MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmMMM.... I say good work, kid. Just next time, don't let a witch eat you. That's my lesson. To me, that's the moral of the story. But he's dead, so that doesn't help him.

Which leads me to the real lesson: don't write sick, cruel stories about kids.The house was made of gingerbread and candy. How could any child be expected to resist that? If he did, then there's really something wrong with him. It'd take a lot of fables to fix that. So I blame the parents. And more so, the witch. That boy should not have learned any lessons.

So I guess the moral of that story is, don't learn something. Let someone else do it. If you're curious or afraid, good! Follow that. Someone else will try it eventually, and that saves you a lot of trouble, and bravery. Don't let courage get the best of you. Never let courage win.

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